April 2008. I sat on the floor of my tiny student room in tears. Full bodied, overwhelming, noisy, ugly tears. In my hands, I clutched the latest letter from the bank, informing me they’d be taking yet another charge from my account. The account that already contained a big fat nothing.
It’s probably the most emotive memory I have of my time as a student. You know the ones – they still make your tummy do a sickening little flip before you shudder it off.
What I didn’t realise at the time, was just how powerful that emotion was. I lived and breathed a fear of the next bank charge. The next food shop. The next bill to come through the door.
I walked around with a head, and a heart full of lack. Full of scarcity. And a purse with nothing but my student bus pass in it.
I did this on repeat, for my entire time at University. In fact – Salou 2011 with the Dance Team. My tour nickname was “No Money Mia”. Most likely to be heard saying “I can’t, I’m skint”. Ouch.
That’s another memory that stung for a long time.
So how did “No Money Mia” go from crying uncontrollably on her student room floor to building multiple businesses?
Understanding it, cultivating it, healing it.
And you can too.
All of these experiences are internalised. They create stories, beliefs, behaviours and patterns which when repeated daily, create your money reality.
Stop reading for just 30 seconds and call upon your own emotive money memories. I know you have at least one like mine on the student room floor.
What have you made them mean? How are they showing up in your life, and more importantly, your bank account, to this day?
That’s the first step, to bring awareness to how they’re showing up. Because then you’ll see how you’re keeping these memories alive with your words.
Salou 2011 – most likely to heard saying “I can’t, I’m skint”. At the time, I was so angry I’d been given that identity. I sulked all the way to the ferry port. I looked at the tour organisers with bitter contempt. I felt wounded.
But through awareness, I now know that I gave myself that identity. That nickname, given in jest, was a powerful mirror to my soul to step up and take responsibility for the reality I was creating and to heal it.
It took another 2 years of struggling before I stepped up.
How long is it taking you?
How are you speaking your money reality into existence?
What identity are you giving yourself?
I see so many in my orbit refusing help. Refusing a mentor. Refusing books. Refusing the smallest things that will help them heal their money story because their immediate reaction to everything is “I’m broke”.
It breaks my heart, because I know how much of a self fulfilling prophecy that statement is. And I know NOTHING is going to improve for them until they decide the change that narrative.
So what can you change today? It doesn’t have to start big. It doesn’t have to start with making big scary leaps (although I do recommend them if you want to fast track this shit!). It can start simply by giving awareness to what’s following this simple statement…
If you’re following that with broke, or skint, or penniless. Well, I’m sure your current reality is proof enough as to just how powerful this statement is.
Upgrade your “I am”’s today. Set a timer for 5 minutes, and write a list of new, empowering “I am”’s you can start using right away.
And the next time an opportunity comes along that you know will do so much to help you grow and expand – you’ll be able to say a big fat YES.
Trust me, if feels SO good to say yes.